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雅思写作9分范文：竞争与合作
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雅思写作9分范文：竞争与合作: Competition vs Cooperation
题目
There has been a long-standing debate about whether it is more beneficial to encourage a sense of competition or cooperation in children. This essay will discuss both views and state my own position.
作文
Nowadays, the purpose of education is being changed in Korea. There are some people who think that competition in children should be encouraged, while others believe that children who are taught to co-operate become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.
To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is encouraged? They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition. In Korea, it is popular - even common now - to have a tutor who comes to a student’s house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money. They learn faster than what they learn at school. Furthermore, during the vacations, students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revising school work. If they have experiences such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus points to go to the famous well-known high school.
On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the schools and study individually with their own tutors, there are problems. They become selfish. They become careless and don’t help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no co-operations for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? Each of them is clever, however, there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. To co-operate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn. That could also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to develop each other. Therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on co-operation, not compete and ranking them.
ielts9.me 点评
这篇雅思写作范文给出了一个非常清晰、有力的论证，充分展现了作者对于话题的深入理解和出色的表达能力，是一篇典型的9分作文。
首先，作者明确陈述了自己的立场：“我强烈同意应该教育孩子合作而不是竞争”。这样的开篇使得文章的主题一目了然，让读者清楚地知道作者将要讨论什么。
其次，作者对于两种观点都进行了详尽而有力的论证。例如，作者在讨论竞争观点时，引用了韩国的教育实践，通过具体的例子（如家教、出国学习等）展示了竞争对于个人成长的积极作用。在讨论合作观点时，作者则从社会角度出发，强调了合作对于社会整体和谐和个人全面成长的重要性。
再次，文章的结构清晰，段落间的逻辑关系紧密。每一段的开头都明确了该段的主题，比如在第二段，“To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is encouraged?” 这使得文章的脉络清晰，易于理解。
最后，作者的语言运用流畅，词汇丰富，句型多样。比如，作者在论述中使用了许多高级词汇和短语，如“develop themselves”，“plus point”，“opportunity to learn”等，这些都使文章的语言层次丰富，读起来更为有深度。
总的来说，这篇范文在主题明确、论证有力、结构清晰和语言流畅等方面都充分展示了雅思写作9分的水准，值得我们学习和借鉴。
高分词汇表
| Word | Part of Speech | Definition |
|---|---|---|
| Competition | Noun | The activity or condition of striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others |
| Co-operate | Verb | Work jointly towards the same end |
| Tutor | Noun | A private teacher |
| Vacations | Noun | An extended period of recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling |
| Experiences | Noun | Practical contact with and observation of facts or events |
| Selfish | Adjective | Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure |
| Co-operations | Noun | The process of working together to the same end |
| Companies | Noun | A commercial business |
| Opportunity | Noun | A set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something |
| Ranking` | Noun | A position in a scale of achievement or status; a classification |
